This is something that I’ve been needing to write for a while but, to be honest, I don’t really know what I want to say. Or what point I’m trying to make. Or where I’m going with it. But I know that it’s something that is constantly bubbling under the surface, percolating and, in a lot of ways, is stopping me from being able to write anything else because I’m still so blocked by it.
As some of you may or may not know, I haven’t really dated or even liked anyone in five years now. Which, for a single attractive gay man living in one of the biggest Gay-tropolises in the free world, is a pretty big deal. But, the thing is, I can’t. Not that I’m really looking to compulsively date at this point in my life slash career anyway (I mean – 23 was SO seven years ago..) but I miss it, sometimes. Just little things, like having someone to curl up with, someone to make breakfast for, someone to make out with. Just the comfort element of it all. But it’s been so long since I’ve felt that level of attraction or connection or trust with someone in order to do it.
19 Things We Demand From Revenge in Season Two
So REVENGE – aka the closest thing there is to televisual crack on network television this season – finally wrapped up it’s devilishly soapy first season last night with a bang, both figuratively and literally. With everything from an overdose to a surprise pregnancy to people coming back from the dead to a plane exploding, it whipped out every single trick it had in it’s dramatic wheelhouse to create 42 minutes of non-stop insane edge of your seat melodrama. So, while we spend the next few months waiting to find out if Charlotte, Victoria or Lydia died (our money is on Lydia, obvs), what better time to start putting together our wishlist for ABC and Mike Kelley for next season..
So, here are 19 Things That We DEMAND From Revenge Next Season :-
01 – A less Lesbionic haircut for our beloved Supergeek Nolan Ross. Seriously – he’s one bowl cut away from turning into a kd Lang tribute band.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
02 – Victoria Grayson threatening to RUIN someone at least ONCE per episode.
03 – Emily to, just once, drop to the ground clenching her fist in the air and loudly exclaim ‘REVENGE’ after she vanquishes some unfortunate Guest Star Of The Week.
What if Madonna recorded the best pop album of the year and nobody came? That’s the problem facing yesteryear’s Queen Of Pop as her latest release MDNA is coming down the charts faster than Lindsay Lohan on a Monday morning.
2012 was meant to be Madonnas year. Not only did she deliver a truly dynamite Superbowl Halftime Show but also managed to release not only her most interesting album since 2003’s American Life but her most creatively satisfying one since the turn of the millenium Music.
So, where did it all go wrong?
Well, for starters..
THE MEDIOCRE FIRST SINGLE
Look – there is no way to deny it. Give Me All Your Luvin’ is the most underwhelming first single of Madonna’s career. Less catchy than the derivative 4 Minutes To Save The World and far less interesting than the (at times) embarrassingly shambolic American Life, it was just kind of, well, there. The worst part is, on it’s own merits as a track, it’s actually quite fun. But it had no business being a single, no matter how many Buzz Female Rappers Du Jour you throw over it’s grossly overstuffed middle eight. Turn Up The Radio, I’m Addicted and even, in it’s own offbeat way, Gang Bang ALL would have made great lead singles instead, particularly the former. The video looked really cheap too. Great concept, but it looked rushed and underproduced, like something Girls Aloud would have churned out circa single release #3..
THE GODAWFUL SECOND SINGLE
Say what you want about Give Me All Your Luvin’, but at least it had a real sense of fun. Girl Gone Wild sounded like it was recorded in the backseat of a car inbetween meetings on a stomach full of Xanax. Even Blackout-era Britney sounded more engaged with her material and she wasn’t even conscious for the recording of most of it. Credit where credit is due for the fantastic clip (especially because it relied more on performance than a ridick budget), but Madonna’s years of being able to top a chart solely with a controversial video are further behind her than her sponsorship deal with Pepsi Co.
Pretty Houses
This is something I wrote last week that is probably my favourite song I’ve written in a long time, both lyrically and melodically. It’s probably the catchiest thing I’ve done in a long time. I’m really proud of it on a lot of different levels.
(I keep changing the title between Pretty Houses and Never Said Never. I think I’ve settled on the former as it’s more thematically representative, even if the latter is the hook).
For most of the last three decades, when it comes to an artist that has ruled the commerical music video format, there was Madonna. For indie fans though, for our money, the Queen of all Media is actually Shirley Manson (and, obviously, the rest of Garbage). Just releasing their first single in over five years, what better time to reflect on the video output of what became The Little Alternative Band That Could. Because really, find any band in the last couple of decades – commerical or otherwise – that produced such consistently exhilarating music and videos.
Most bands produced visual accompaniments for their songs – Garbage produced mini works of art. From the dark torturous art porn of Queer to the slinky, CGI-laden Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go) to the glossy, on the nose seventies stylism of Tell Me Where It Hurts, no band had such a spot on, fantastical handle on the imagery of their musical output, and it constantly gave Garbage an edge and an additional dimension to many of their mid-nineties counterparts.
New track Blood For Poppies has a video that has been described as a ‘gorgeous surrealist dream’ and, honestly, it’s hard to come up with words to describe it better. Well, until the part where someone slits Shirley Mansons eyeballs open anyway.. The song itself is still growing on us, but since we can’t work out whether it’s even a single or not, we’re just glad to have some real Garbage in our lives. Here it is :-
So – how does it rank amongst their all time greatest clips? Lets take a walk down memory lane and see how it compares to some of their best (and most visually arresting) work..
THIS SONG EXPLAINS WHY I’M LEAVING HOME TO BECOME A STEWARDESS : Michigan – Josh Rouse
Well, this is so much easier than trying to explain why I’ve been more AWOL than Lindsay Lohan at a parole hearing lately. It’s surprisingly on the money bar one or two of the details.. (plus it’s, you know, ONE OF THE BEST SONGS OF ALL TIME)..
Oscarwatch 2012 – The From The Block Picks
SO, Oscar Eve 2012 sure came around quick, didn’t it? I’d really hoped that this would be the year that I FINALLY saw all of the nominated films prior to the awards but, alas, a combination of Life and the fact that there are 27 films nominated for Best Picture alone got in my way. That being said, I managed a respectable 12 out of 18, including all the important ones, so I’m pretty qualified to best last years AWFUL 3/6 attempt at prognosticating these buggers. After all, I can’t rest of my James Coburn / Marcia Gay Harden laurels forever, can I?
As I said last year, I think seeing all the nominated films actually makes it harder to get a perfect guess record, because you’re less objective and more emotional (like last years serious case of the Amy Adamses that I caught throughout award season). But, no matter, let’s give it a go! Bolded films are the ones I’ve seen, the rest should be pretty self-explanatory..
BEST PICTURE
Hugo 3D
Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close
Midnight In Paris
Moneyball
The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
The Tree Of Life
War Horse
A Reason
Just a little something I wrote last night in literally fifteen minutes. It’s funny, because it’s a totally honest song and I mean every word, but where it started and where it ended are two dramatically different places. Like, it almost ends up being about the opposite of what it started about. Which is weird if not for the fact both things are totally sincere. Sometimes I write pretty stream of consciousness and that’s how this one went. It’s kind of a cross between a country rock number and a swedish mid-tempo pop anthem..
Anyways, enjoy..
(song after the jump..)
‘Niggas In Midnight In Paris’* or The Best Mash Up You’ll Hear ALL Year
You know that Woody Allen, Kanye West and Jay Z collaboration the world has been DYING for?
*tumbleweeds*
*crickets chirp*
..Well, HERE IT IS. I don’t know who came up with the idea of doing this, but I sure would like some of their Pixie Drink. This shit is KRAY y’all. It’s like my two single favourite moments of 2011 having beautiful sex and producing the best pop culture moment of all of 2012. In FEBRUARY!
* Yes, I know its official title is ‘Niggas In Paris At Midnight’, but my version is better..
The ultimate video of 2012, plus a rundown of its best moment, AFTER THE JUMP..
The Glenny Guide To… The Top 12 Madonna Tracks That You’ve (Probably) Never Heard But Really Should Have
So, the interwebs are abuzz yesterday as reigning Grand Dame of Pop dropped her video to new single Give Me All Your Luvin’. While the song has divided fans and critics alike, it does provide an interesting insight in what we can expect from her forthcoming album MDNA. Basically the sound of her thirty year career almost turning completely inward on itself and coming full circle, it’s a delightfully bouncy old-school Madonna track, redone for the new millennium and, dare we say it, the first time ol’ Madge sounds like she’s actually having fun since the Bedtime Stories days.
After the whole Hard Candy debacle (aka the one where Madonna stopped creating trends and starting desperately following them), it’s nice to hear something unique and distinctly Madonna-ish from her again. Whether the album will follow suit or not is yet to be seen but, in the meantime, lets take a trip down Madonna Memory Lane and remember some of the best songs she’s done that (outside of hardcore fans) you’ve probably never heard. All album tracks, one can only hope MDNA contains anything half as brilliant as some of these..
01 – Over and Over
While a lot of her first album is, by her own admission, “music to aerobicise to”, the Like A Virgin album saw Madonna come out with all pop guns blazing. Nine tracks that start to finish could have all been singles (something increasingly rare in the commercial pop landscape), some were unfortunately destined to to be overlooked. This has always been a favourite of her early work, it’s peppy beat and unironic lyrics representing everything that was so joyful and good and fun about not just Madonna’s early work but of 80’s pop in general. And, 28 years on, it still sounds as joyous and fresh now as it did back then.
And HERE’S an amazing clip of her doing it live on The Virgin Tour. God bless. Makes you long for the days when she still looked like she enjoyed being a pop star..
02 – Till Death Do Us Part
If Like A Virgin was the first album where Madonna solidified her status as the most enjoyable pop star on the planet, it was 1989’s Like A Prayer that cemented her as the worlds most important. Taking every single pop hook, music trend and piece of iconography she had under her industrial-sized Boy Toy belt, she lifted her game into the next pop solar system by making a uniquely personal pop album that is still pretty much the greatest of all time. Over sinister skittering synths, she recounts an abusive doomed relationship in a thinly veiled deconstruction of her own trials with ex husband Sean Penn. Rarely has pop music been so catchy, personal and affecting all at the same time.
(ten more after the JUMP)
Oscarwatch 2012 – An Introduction
SO. As those of you were around last year know, being a total film nerd, my Award Season goal was to see every single picture nominated in the major categories (The Big 6 – see below) before the awards at the end of Feb and prognosticate accordingly. Last year, I managed to knock off a respectable 13/15 which resulted in my WORST EVER batch of predictions (3/6 – see the total interweb devastion HERE). Turns out, it’s a lot easier to pick your James Coburns and your Marcia Gay Hardens (suck on that Losers) when you haven’t seen the films and you just go by gut. I mean, in all fairness, Tom Hooper’s win was the most pointless win in the history of Sandra Bullock, mostly because the Kings Speech may as well have been directed by my sofa. But, I’ll take my lumps (damned permanent internet history ruining all chances of revisionist history..) and have another go this year.
As my major movie orgy progresses, I’ll be updated with my own personal preference rankings based on who deserves it, as well as who I think is going to win. Unfortunately, this also means I’m going to have to actually watch things like Albert Nobbs, which still sounds uncomfortably like a British Gay Porn movie from the 1970’s. But, there are 18 movies rounding out the Big 6 this year and, currently, I’ve seen 4 of them. So, I’ve only got 14 to go and 4 weeks to make it happen. EASY.
So, here is each category as it stands so far. I’ve grouped each one into two groups, the above being the ones I’ve already seen, in order of who I think DESERVES to win and the bottom the ones I’ve yet to see in order of some random pattern based on the first letter of each of their titles. It’s kind of like my Netflix queue, if there were Netflix queues for Oscar Trophies (or, if I had any idea of how a Netflix queue works – basically, everything I know about Netflix I learned from Kelly Kappoor).
Here we go :-
Video Games
Sorry I’ve been so quiet lately. Had a lot of bits and bobs on, mostly the usual work coma stuff that I try not to whine about lest I sound like a broken record. And not a good broken record. We’re not talking about Miles Davis, or the Best Of Spandau Ballet. More like some scratched Betty Boo single (but not one of the two good ones).
ANYWAY. Mostly I’ve been busy writing non-blog kind of stuff. Like, I taught myself how to use Twitter, which was interesting. Mostly because I still maintain it’s like Facebook for retarded people. And trying to decipher it is like learning to read Japanese, without all the delicious food incentives. But still – check it out @GlennyfromtheB (stupid character limit. *mutters, etc*)
The main thing I’ve actually been working on has been my screenplay. Not the one that I’ve kind of been banging on about the past couple of years, but a new one. Well, technically it’s the only one, since the other one (lets call it FB) has never made it past 30 odd pages of treatment since I’m somewhere between a lazy ass and an intellectual chicken shit. But still. This one is actually getting written. Which is a big step for me. Mostly because I’ve never been that kind of writer that tends to, you know, write things down. At least not until the last minute. Seriously, all through school, right up to Senior Year I never started writing an essay until the night before it was due. Heck, I remember performing a major one man dramatic collage for Finals and not even writing the script down til AFTER I performed it. This doesn’t mean I’m lazy though (well, I mean – OBVIOUSLY this means I’m lazy), it’s just that I’ll spend ages and ages and ages writing things in my head, turning phrases, filtering content, structuring – but I never write things down hard copy until they’re done. I can’t stand physical editing. So to be working on a screenplay is an amazing step for me.
read more after the JUMP..
FASHIONCAP – The Golden Globes 2012 (Part Two – The BEST)
AND HERE WE ARE! Now, after sifting through last nights fashion debris (see HERE), we make it to some of the evenings highlights. Sure, we still kind of mock the shit out of them, but there’s some positivity thrown into the mix, so you can feel warm and fuzzy, kind of like Monique’s armpits at any given point in time.. Unlike yesterday’s run through, we’ve had a sneak peek at what other press are saying about the nights fashion highs and lows and, lets just say, this is a very different take on the night’s dresses successes.. The rules and point scoring system are in the previous entry, so scroll down whenever you’re ready..
AMANDA PEET
Otherwise known as the exact moment Amanda Peet decided to go out in public dressed as a wedding cake. Maybe she was one of the refreshments at the after party? Or a leftover from the wedding that Jessica Biel was so obviously attending. La Biel is actually a good reference point for this though. While her overall outfit failed with a skoche too much styling, Peet carries this dangerously tiered number with just the right lightness to make it sweetly appealing.
JULIANNE MOORE
Now, this is another one dangerously on the fence of good taste. On one hand, Julianne Moore looks faboush in this Chanel couture fishtail gown. On the other hand, the fit made her look like someone tried to mummify Little Orphan Annie in black bin liners and turn her into the Black Swan. Seriously, We’re pretty sure Lara Flynn Boyle would like her Tutu back.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS
UGH. Michelle Williams just can’t wear something conventionally pretty, can she? Actually, this purple leopard print retro number is kind of a grower, especially with the adorable headband, which was the nights third best must have accessory after the High Pony and Salma Hayek’s Boobs. The overall colouring is just a tad too dark and washed out, but it just eeks out a fashion win.
MARIA MENOUNOS
Not quite sure whether this dress itself is enough to qualify for red carpet material. Heck, we’re still not quite sure what a Maria Menounos IS. But, just for the AMAZING colour alone, it’s one of the evening’s highlights.
FASHIONCAP – The Golden Globes 2012 (Part One – The WORST)
Wow. One year in and we’ve pretty much done a full circle of major fashion events (see also The Emmys, Oscars and Met Costume Gala amongst others) but, FINALLY, we’ve reached the Holy Grail of red carpet events – The Golden Globes. Otherwise known as the Hollywood Foreign Press’s Official Orgy Room, having given birth in past years to such fashion wonders as, umm, that time Lara Flynn Boyle wore a tutu. Fingers crossed she gets invited back sometime soon..
Anyway, same rules as always – points deducted for being boring, Whitney Houston or, as seems to be the main offender this year, really, REALLY badly styled hair. Bonus Points awarded for a sense of fun, panache or drama (like Piper Perabo smuggling a whole Mexican immigrant family under the skirt of her gown).
So, here we go, in order of WORST to FIRST :-
SALMA HAYEK & HER BOOBS
Sweet Jesus, this is just AWFUL. Everything is just wrong with this – the over the top sequins, the two-toned hair, the fact that apparently the front of her dress is providing enough solar power to keep the Golden Globes running long into 2013. Thank God she was wearing the nights 2nd Best Accessory – Salma Hayek’s Boobs. Like a good Little Black Dress, Salma Hayek’s Boobs make any woman look good. Shame she felt compelled to team them with Pamela Anderson’s old hair extensions from the Baywatch era.
JESSICA CHASTAIN
We love us some Jessica Chastain, girl has mad skills. Sadly, said mad skills don’t seem to extend to picking appropriate outfits (or, for that matter, hair stylists) for major award ceremonies. Looking like a washed up 1970’s Prom Queen in dire need of a lint brush, the hair sucked the life out of what was a potentially interesting gown.
SARAH MICHELLE BUFFY
Mocking Sarah Michelle Gellar makes us die inside, so let’s just leave it at the fact the dress itself is alright. The bleeding colour, faded denim human inkblot test look HOWEVER was like a runway ready version of Rorschach from Watchmen. She would have been better going with some of evil twin Siobhan’s gloriously oversized sunglasses, hats and accessories from Ringer – Girl may be evil, but she has great over the top fashion taste. Ten points for the amazing high ponytail though. Everything looks better with a high ponytail.
MERYL STREEP
For some strange reason, Meryl looked more like she was on her way to the CMA’s. Maybe her PA got her event outfits mixed up by mistake? Either that or she’s got a Wynnona Judd biopic in the works. You never can tell which real life celebrity she’s going to deign to embody on any given day. Although, when you’re just turning up to receive your 27th Golden Globe, how much effort can you really be expected to make? Normally, awards are pre-made by category and then engraved with names post ceremony once the winners are announced. Have the sneaking suspicion that instead the HFPA just have a spare storage unit with 50+ ‘..Meryl Streep’ Golden Globes laying around just waiting to find out what catergory they’re giving it to her for in any given year..
More mockery and grossly unqualified fashion critique after the jump..
2 Pictures of Christina Aguilera Looking AWESOME!
Okay, so – fair’s fair. With our recent 36 Pictures Of Christina Aguilera Looking AWFUL gallery (check it out HERE) already becoming one of the top five posts on here ever, it would be remiss not to point out that, for once, she’s actually looking mighty fine in upcoming Marie Claire pictures leaked today.
And this is the thing that kind of shits me about The Aguilera – she’s actually a really attractive woman and, to be honest, looks sexier with the curves than without. And it’s important now more than ever to healthy, confident women with real bodies be celebrated for embracing them, not just crucified in the media every time they decide to have a can of full-fat Coke. But the thing is, most normal women would never dress as awfully as she often does lately, seemingly willfully choosing the most unflattering outfits for her figure as possible. Hence the non-stop mockery. Just wanted to clear that up. Curves = Awesome. Looking like you got dressed in the dark in Dennis Rodman’s closet = 36 kinds of AWFUL.
ANYWAY. Here is the other pic that leaked today. I think we can all agree that she looks pretty much the best she’s looked since the Burlesque promo circuit she did..
the from the block blog 