A Completely Accurate and Not At All Photoshopped Picture of Christina Aguilera to Start Your Day..

So, Christina Aguilera took a few minutes out of her busy schedule of being a Very Important and Completely Relevant Recording Artist to unleash the artwork for her latest fragrance (after last seasons hugely successful  Eau De Kentuckie campaign) and, well..

THERE. ARE. NO. WORDS.

‘Feel Like A Queen?’  “Feel What It’s Like To Have A Million Queens Mocking You From Here Til Eternity’ more like..

Seriously, you would have to literally spend your evening sniffing her new perfume like glue to believe that this photo exists evening in the same Galaxy as La Aguilera this past year.  I mean, compare and contrast with these two photos both taken in the last month…

OCTOBER 2012

SEPTEMBER 2012

AMIRIGHT?

On the bright side though, I wonder whether you get a discount because they only used half of her to create the ad?  Is the other half of her busy vacationing in Mexico somewhere?  Or did it just step out for a few minutes to get another round of In’n’Out?  Maybe it’s just busy hanging out with Cee-Lo?  Because, based on our very serious scientific calculations, only 53% percent of her is present for this photo.  We didn’t even know the human body could survive that kind of mass separation for a prolonged period of time.. Either that or she’s time travelled from 2002 again, which is a GRAVE CAUSE FOR INTERNATIONAL CONCERN obviously (although it means we might actually get a decent album from her again…)

Although, on the plus side, at least we can’t see her Lotus in this one..