(Drunk) Live-Blogging the Glee Season 2 Finale

It’s all downhill from here..

So!  I decided to live-blog the Glee season finale because (a) I was too time poor to construct a proper review and (b) I’d heard it was so absurdly plotted that a live-blog of sassily indignant outrage may better serve everyone involved.  Unfortunately, I also decided to hold a Welcome To Sydney dinner for my new favourite Canadian the same night (sorry to all my previous favourite Canadians – it was fun while it lasted, etc, etc..)

Now, some might say it was the pressure of trying to make Glee entertaining for the haterz that did me, or there’s a SMALL possibility that the bottle and a half of Merlot may have contributed to my literary downfall, but my live-blog didn’t quite turn out as planned.

THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT *shakes fist in air, angrily*

(Oh, who am I kidding?  I can never stay mad at you.  Let’s never fight – or live blog – again..)

So, instead of editing the incomprehensibly drunken mess up into a bunch of witty asides, I’ve decided to post as is as I kind of think it’s a piece of retarded beauty where you can watch my descent into complete and utter drunkeness over the course of an hour.  Although, much like current Broadway Saviours Trey Parker and Matt Stone, I well and truly Blame Canada.  Also, when I inevitably end up in Rehab later this year, I’m billing it to Fox..

ENJOY!

0:01 – New York, Woo

0:03 – Rachel – that outfit, really?  You look like a lollipop gone bad

IN CASE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT A LOLLIPOP ON ACID WOULD LOOK LIKE DOING THE “I’M A LITTLE TEAPOT” DANCE.

• Ugh, Kurt is singing.  Kill me
• Funny joke about homeless people’s butt cracks
• Why is Mr Schue wearing that hat?  He looks like Andy Capp
• Oh yeha, vecuase of COURSE they;re just writing their song for nationals now.  Kudos for winning the believable storytelling award of 2011 Ryan Murphy, woo.
• MY CUP.  Honestly, it’s no My Headband.  #justsayin
• Why is Quinn wearing a jacket made out of a giant tangerine?

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WEAR A GIANT PIECE OF OVERRIPE FRUIT TO WORK.  OR SKIN A CAST MEMBER OF JERSEY SHORE.

• Oh.  They’re really doing ‘I Love New York’.  I was hoping this was an Urban Legend.  Like Elle Fanning.
• Couldn’t just ONE of them wear nice a decent outifts?
• I literally want to kill myself right now
• AD BREAK.  THANK GOD.
• mmmmmm Puck Biceps.  Loses points for wearing the leftover tangerine that Quinns jacket didn’t use.

OKAY RYAN MURPHY, YOU’RE FORGIVEN.  FOR NOW.

• Song from Matt Morrission’s solo album #killme
• A fat guy just told Mr Schu he had talent.  Just LIKE REAL LIFE.
• Patti LuPone.  Not awkward at all.
• AWKWARD MUSIC NUMBER.  UGH.
• Breakfast at Tiffyants
• Why is Kurt’s hair 17 feet tall?

KURT HUMMELL.  STILL AWFUL, NOW WITH 473% ADDED HAIR.

• Musical number from Wicked.  Unofrtunately distracted by the fact Rachel is wearing the No Doubt Rock Steady album cover for a dress
• mmmmmmm hair extensions
• why is Santana dressed like joancollins in dynasty..
• mmmmm cheyenne jackson
• Oooh,  Quinn got a haircut.  nice she caught up with dianna agron who got a cut three episodes ago

THAT UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT WHEN EVERYONE REALISES THAT SAM AND QUINN LOOK LIKE THE EXACT SAME PERSON.

• quinn and same now have the same haircut #notweirdatall
• random nationals competition from sookie’s adveture in faeryand
• xcharice got fat. hahahhahahaha
• charice ballld.  yawn.  how to make an asian look like  fat 31 year ol 101

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – IN TONIGHT’S PERFORMANCE, THE PART OF CHARICE WILL BE PLAYED BY LORD TUBBINGTON.

• finn and rachel.  blugh.
• rachels hair looks good though, which is pretty much the first tim all year toy coul say that.
• ughl orgiinal song.
• she looks like a goth christmas decoratipms with awful boots
• racehl berry or rebecca black – who can tell for shure
• yeah.  because new york would be so elicate with casual making outsamt

THE KISS THAT LOST MCKINLEY NATIONALS.  BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT BOTH OF THEIR PERFORMANCES S-U-C-K-E-D.

• santaa autone tune.  weird.
• AWFUL
• mmmmmmmm BLAINE
• uhg.  i love you.  like reall?  runblainerun!

RUN! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!  BEFORE KURT’S AWFULNESS CATCHES YOOOOUUUUU…

• pippa iddletone joke.  actually funny
• touching lesbain moment
• i cant even live blog thi anyine ib acciybt i watubg ti jukk ntsejfm,,,;