Things You See That You Can Never Unsee : Aubrey O’Day Edition

Ugh!  My eyes are damaged.  So damaged.  Now, granted it’s been at least eight or nine years since I’ve been up close enough to one to remember what one looks like exactly – but tell me something isn’t seriously wrong in this pic?  Like, where the heck is Aubrey O’Day’s vagina meant to be here?  Is it missing?  Is she in fact the owner of the World’s Smallest Vagina?

Let’s go in for a closer look :-

If so, she should consider giving up whatever exactly it is that she does for a living and join an Asian Sex Circus.  I’m pretty sure the calls of ‘Ladies and Gentlemen – step right up and see the white woman who possesses the smallest vagina in the history of the world” would do well through the backroads of Thailand.  And she could have a nice little trailer and do Pay Per Show’s with the Bearded Sex Lady.

Or maybe it’s meant to be that midgetory.  Who knows – maybe incredible shrinking vaginas are the new thing?  You know, like designer dogs, or those wacky tiny fruits they engineer in Japanese laboratories.  Or it’s possible that her FUPA just got hungry and ate it.

But seriously, that picture is just hypnotic.  Nauseating and hypnotic.  She looks like a really skanky Mattel doll – like how when you pulled their pants down and it was smooth and plastic?  Aubrey O’Day is evidently a lumpier, badly dressed version of that.  Unless Mattel have started making toys with cellulite now?

Also, what is up with the Apache Indian / Gay-ge of Aquarius get-up anyway?  It’s even worse than Cheryl Tweedycole’s Purple Flares..

Here’s Aubrey O’Day in happier days, back when she had that one good song and all :-

Anyway, I have to go and track down some gay porn now so I can clean my brain…