Another Open Letter To Cheryl Tweedycole..
I have zero idea why you’re at the Cannes Film Festival right now but imma glad to see that you’re clearly reading my blog and taken my fashion advice to heart. This is a MASSIVE improvement :-
On the other hand though, this one is a beautiful gown, but you have what appears to be a giant bejewelled scrotum hanging around your neck.
Seriously, what is that? Is it Ashleys? Did you get it in the divorce settlement and decide to wear it as a reminder? Or is it maybe a subtle David Beckham ‘Golden Balls’ shout out?
Let’s go in for a closer look :-
Oh, it’s a pair of Pears. OF COURSE. *sighs*